It is difficult to provide a review for a writer who is trying so hard to do the right thing, and sometimes succeeding, sometimes not. In this case, the author’s favourite technique is rhyming, a skill that is easy to do, but hard to do well.
I have seen it in many poems. A stanza starts with a strong image in the first line, then weakens with an explanation of the idea in the middle, and the last line loses the passion, because it’s only there to lead up to the final rhyme.
“Poem” has a great flow to it, with building emotion and a sympathetic story, only to be weakened by the last word, which doesn’t fit. But it rhymes!
“One Night Stand” was one of the most effective poems, partly because it was a change from the formal patterns, and partly because the idea rang true.
“Fifth Stage” has a more uniform power, but the rhythm of the lines doesn’t flow with the meaning of the words. This poet might do better to worry less about the rhyming and be more concerned with the rhythm of normal human speech and how it is affected by emotion. Poetry is more about rhythm than rhyme. I suggest reading the lines aloud and see how they sound. That will also keep you from using too much punctuation, which breaks the rhythm of the line and the sense of the story.
I can tell you one thing I learned from this book. Don’t keep switching rhyme schemes in the same poem. Rhyme sets up an expectation. Breaking the pattern jars the reader out of contact with the feeling of the poem. “Transfixed” is an interesting idea with great description, but would have been better unrhymed.
“A Memory of Days Gone By” is a great image, described with emotion that is sustained to the very end. This volume is full of flashes of bright imagery and fascinating ideas that make it worth the read.
And I’d like to mention an annoying habit many younger poets have lifted from rappers: telling the reader what good poets they are. Don’t tell us; show us with your writing.
This is a book of good attempts, some far more successful than others. It would be better if the weaker poems and more awkward stanzas were left out.
Four stars.