As we get older, we find ourselves forgetting things more often. We blame it on a deteriorating memory and bemoan the fact that we can’t do anything about it. But if we realized that it isn’t really a faulty memory that’s causing the problem, maybe we could do something to function better.
When We’re Younger
An interesting point you may have noticed is that the symptoms of geriatric memory loss are mirrored at all ages in times of high stress. I remember starting out as a teacher (a high-stress job) and taking a stress workshop where I discovered that my recreational activity (directing amateur theatre) was even higher stress. And when things got hectic, I suffered from Joe Biden syndrome. Suddenly I couldn’t think of the proper word or name. It drove me nuts (Which just made it worse).
So, I’ve been thinking about this problem for quite a while. More important, I spent time thinking about it while I was still smart. This means I developed a couple of coping skills I can share with you, now that I’m in need of them myself.
But let’s first take a look at the mechanisms involved.
Vision, for Example
There are two types of vision: central and peripheral, and they work quite differently. Central vision is under the control of you conscious mind. You look at things you want to regard. It takes a lot of memory to pay attention to all this in detail.
As we move into the periphery in three dimensions, the amount of data increases by a factor of three. It is impossible for the human system to cope with this flood of data. So, the brain has a trick. Just like a computer search program, it has a filtering system that only allows certain types of data to get noticed. Obviously, movement is the biggest one. Movement beside or behind you is dangerous. So, movement draws your attention. Bright colours make up another set.
Much of the rest is taken up by a personal set of images you have learned are dangerous to you. For example, in the fall, when my garden fills up with spiders trying to fatten themselves up for winter, I re-learn to pay attention to a dark, oval shape about eye level suspended close to me. After I’ve stuck my face into a few webs, I learn to keep an eye out.
The other senses work the same way, as well as the daily moment-by-moment monitoring of what events and objects are important to us.
What’s the Real Problem?
It’s not specifically your memory that you’re losing. It’s your ability to multi-task. You’re used to putting a whole bunch of data into your memory and skipping back and forth through it as you go about any action.
Making a right turn at an intersection requires a driver to look at, and remember, about seven places: traffic light, car coming from left, coming from right, from straight ahead (and turning left in front of you) pedestrian to the right, offside mirror for cyclist passing on right side, (yes, that happened to me) and pedestrian to the left. And by the time you finish all that, you have to start checking it all again.
As our ability to focus on different data sources wanes, driving (and any complicated function) becomes more difficult. So, we have to learn to be more selective.
I Can’t Remember Where I Left It
As the brain is inundated with data, it develops ways of selecting which events to notice. We can use these techniques to our advantage by learning to consciously trigger the needed responses.
I’m sure everyone has this experience; you’re walking around with something in your hand. A few minutes or an hour later, you need that object, and it has disappeared. You review your recent actions, going back to a point where an important action or a conjunction of events reveals that yes, you did have it at that point. But at some moment since then, when your attention was distracted, you put the object down. The reason you don’t remember that action is that there were too many more important things going on as well, and the putting-down was not important enough to remember.
What can we do?
First: Pay Attention
If you’re putting something down, use the memory capacity of your central vision. Look at yourself putting it down. Take a mental snapshot of the scene. Develop the habit of noticing when you put an object down. Or when you notice an object you might need later. You might even use a second reinforcement: talk to yourself. (I know, I know. Just do it quietly, right? Maybe inside your head.) “Right. There’s my glasses.” “Putting the remote on the end table.”
Second: Form a Habit.
I have a Swiss Army knife I always carry. I have kept the same tool for about 25 years and never lost it. How? I always keep it in the same place. I don’t put it down; I put it back. After a few decades, I have a completely unconscious habit of putting my jackknife in my right-hand front pants pocket. I never remember putting it there. It just appears there by magic. My car keys go in their place by the same mechanism. Likewise my wallet.
I have four or five places in my house I put down my glasses. I try not to leave them anywhere else. I’m not so successful with this one, because it’s a more complex problem, but I haven’t lost a pair of glasses for fifteen years or so. Fingers crossed…
I have to pass through a dangerous intersection to get to my local grocery store. I have choreographed a specific pattern of regard to make that crossing as safe as possible.
The Bottom Line
Don’t just cry about the loss of your memory and give up. Work with your brain to help it solve the problem.
PS
And if the object is important enough, put an etag on it and find it with your phone. The technology is there; use it.