We all know dogs and humans don’t speak the same language. But it’s worse than that. Humans and dogs have a completely different idea of their positions in their mutual relationship. Dogs are pack animals, and they spend a great deal of their time working on their status in the pack. For example, when puppies roll and tumble and “play” with each other, we think it’s so cute, but they are working on their pecking order, and for them, it’s serious.
So, if your dog picks up a trick really, really easily, you have to wonder what the dog thinks was just learned, and by whom.
Who is Training Whom?
Okay, you want to train your dog, and you need a few easy-to-teach tricks to show off with. The easiest ones follow standard dog behaviour. However some of these, when you realize what they mean in dog language, are completely inappropriate,
- The Kiss: The easiest trick to “teach.” Licking the adult’s jaw is a signal to regurgitate meat. It’s tempting to teach your dog this trick, because the action is innate, and it reinforces your position in the pack. But many people do not appreciate “dog germs,” and one aggressive slurp from your dog could make a two-year old frightened of dogs for life.
- Shake-a-paw: The easiest and worst trick ever. With many higher animal species, placing a front foot over the shoulders of another animal is a sign of dominance. You are teaching your dog, “When you meet a stranger, dominate them.” NOT behaviour to be encouraged.
- Chase me: Preschool children love to be chased. My duck toller (a retriever breed) used to entertain our little relatives for hours, pacing calmly behind them while they ran around giggling and/or screaming. It all depends on the dog. Watch herding dogs; the next level is nipping at heels.
- Stand up and give me a hug: Dogs like to be near your face. It gives them equality. Many people do not want dogs near their faces. Figure it out. Jump into my arms is the same idea, only more dangerous. Anything that teaches a dog to jump on people is counterproductive.
- Run away and I’ll chase you: All very well until the day the leash breaks near a busy street. Many trainers say you should never chase your dog in fun.
- Keep away:This is a great trick. Teach your dog to steal things and not give them back. You will pay, trust me.
- Jump for the stick in my hand: Gives you a feeling of power, does it? Some day a small child holding an ice cream cone won’t be so impressed.
- Tug-of-war Experts argue about this. It’s another one that depends on the dog. But in general, ownership means power. When I play tug with a dog, I always end up with “Drop it.” My game, my ball.
- I’ll carry my leash: The ultimate admission that you’ve given the whole training business over to the dog. One day, in an emergency, you may want to use your leash to tie your dog up temporarily. Having trained them to chew on it might be a problem. The leash belongs to the owner, not the dog.
- Teasing the dog with food: Why? Because that “please, please,” look is so cute. You’re teaching the dog to snap. All this trick does is make the idiot owner look like a power junkie.
- Share my ice-cream cone: Gross, but people do it.
- Drive the car: Now, that’s just plain stupid and dangerous. Dogs are colour blind, and they can’t distinguish the red lights from the green. Also, they’re hyper-protective of their car and prone to road rage. Do not let the dog anywhere near the key fob for your self-driving electric car. You never know.
The Bottom Line
Many of those cute tricks and habits that humans find so appealing are signals to the dogs that they are in charge. Be careful: one day you might wake up and discover that they are.