As the last American Presidential election demonstrated, there is a great deal of political, social, and psychological capital to be made in making accusations about your opponent first, before someone makes the same accusations about you. The pot calls the kettle black, and even if the kettle is stainless steel, everyone believes it. How does this work?
Adolph Hitler’s Big Lie technique was coined in Mein Kampf, in which he blamed the Jews of using this technique, and laid out precisely how they accomplished it.Then he proceeded to follow his own advice and turned the German people against the Jews, killing millions of innocent people. Was he conscious of doing this? It seems a risky stunt, telling everyone how the trick is done before you do the magic. But how can we plumb the depths of the deranged psyche?
Bullies Have Weird Minds.
Manipulators know the proper social mores and behaviours, in spite of – or perhaps because of – the multitude of times these rules have been applied to them. So they attempt to justify their violence by being the first to accuse their victim of “starting it.”
Physical Violence
Physical bullies specialize in teasing, taunting, hazing and minor acts of violence to get their victims to lose control and attack first. Then it’s, “He started it!” as a justification for their own overly violent response. Laws about assault that only consider the first punch thrown and the first person to report the attack are useful to the bully in this respect.
Sexual Violence
Likewise, the mores of the last hundred years play right into the hands of sexual predators, because, “Dressing like you’re asking for it,” gives them an excuse to act as if something was promised and then withdrawn. This plays into the natural (socially enforced) guilt the injured party feels and reduces the chances of the victim making a charge. And as long as the courts continue to confuse, “Dressing provocatively is rather stupid,” with, “Dressing provocatively is a mortal sin,” this nasty technique will continue to work.
Political Dirt
And as Mr. Trump demonstrated, he who gets in the accusation first has the best chance of making it stick.
Bullies Are Not Creative
But why attack with the bullies’ own weaknesses? As with most insecure people, they tend to stick to the tried and true. The accusations that have been successfully leveled at the bullies are branded into their minds. So when they come to attack their victims, those are the first charges that come to them.
“You Never Admit You’re Wrong”
One of the greatest pre-emptive accusations of all, with its corollary, “You always make excuses.” These are beautiful accusations, because any defence immediately proves the point.
In fact, “You never admit you’re wrong,” is the pre-emptive defence of a sore loser. When someone makes that accusation, he probably means, “You’re right too often, especially when you disagree me.”
And “You always make excuses,” is usually misapplied anyway. A person who does not admit fault is not making excuses. People making excuses are admitting guilt and trying to excuse themselves through extenuating circumstances. “The traffic was terrible,” is an excuse, admitting to lateness and blaming the traffic. “Nobody told me the meeting was at 8,” recognizes lateness, but denies responsibility. “I was in Warsaw when Kennedy was shot,” is a denial of guilt. Note that denials are usually provable, while excuses are often a matter of opinion.
What’s the Use?
Pointing out this kind of detail to someone who is trying to control the situation by accusing you first is not going to cut much ice with anyone. Nobody listens to the person on the defensive. “He started it!” is so much more effective than, “I did not!” You’re much better to make the attack. Get your accusation in first, and if they counter, have another complaint ready to turn everyone’s attention to. That’s the way the experts do it.